Relationships
Lilith
15 July 2009
“I extend the hand of friendship, and the hand of friendship
is extended back to me.”
This week we are going to be discussing relationships – how to understand them, and how to make them stronger. Relationship clutter is just as viable an entity as the clutter in our living room – we need to take the time to honor what is supportive of us, and release that which is not nurturing, and not supportive.
A relationship that does not support us – whether it is at home, at work, or with friends – is toxic. It surrounds us with negative energy, and drags us down. Sometimes a relationship starts out very positive, and we are not even aware at what point it took a turn for the worse. What we may experience is a vague sense discontentment, or some level of stress directly related to a specific relationship.
We cannot change the people in our life, but we can change our reaction to them, and the affect that they have on us. Do you have anyone in your life that you just feel drained after talking to? Is there someone that you are walking on eggshells around? Is there someone that invariably judges you harshly? Is there someone around you that has a generally negative attitude about everything, and leaves a little black cloud behind them wherever they go? Is there someone in your life that requires all of the attention – that makes your relationship more about you than about them? These are the people that we want to take a look at, and find ways to minimize the affect that they have on us and on our life.
We have the tools within us to make change in our own environment. The first step is to recognize those tools, and the next step is to make ourselves the most important person in our life. When we treat ourselves well, when we live our lives in an authentic manner, we surround ourselves with a sense of balance and harmony.
We can choose our own battles. We can choose what to accept in another person, and what we will not accept. We can limit our time with someone, or we can choose to take them out of our life completely. Recognize the amount of mental energy you are spending on thinking about – or worrying about – the toxic people in your life. Make the choice to focus on the relationships that are nurturing an sustaining in your life – put your energy here, replacing toxic energy with positive energy.
What can we do to maintain healthy relationships? We can learn to listen – and really hear what the other person is saying. If we help them get what they want, they will help us get what we want. Also – understanding where a person is coming from, why they are acting the way they are, goes a long way to having an authentic relationship with them.
Sometimes it is better to compromise. Being right sometimes must take a back seat to nourishing harmony in the relationship. This does not mean that we should allow ourselves to be walked all over, but it does mean that we also do not have to walk all over others. We should recognize when it is best for us to keep quiet, and we should not treat someone in a manner in which we would not wish to be treated. In other words – maintain respect for ourselves, and for the other people in our lives.
We need to learn to forgive – ourselves and others. Forgive from the heart, and let it go. Allow the hurt to be in the past, and not a constant shadow in the present. Make sure that your own motives for nurturing a friendship or relationship are the right ones. It is going to come back and bite you if you put energy into a relationship for the sole purpose of getting what you want from the other person.
In any relationship, consider the impact of your words and your actions on the other person. You may have to make a difficult decision about something, but how you choose to implement that decision has a great deal to do with how it will affect your relationship(s).
Allow humor to be a part of your life, and your relationships. Don’t take anything too seriously! Allow the silliness of a situation to come through whenever it really needs too. A light touch will get you past a difficult situation. Let go of your expectations. Life is not always going to be how you want it to be, relationships are not going to always be exactly what you want them to be. Do your best, and allow yourself to flow with what comes back to you.
We each need to understand that we are unique – we are our own person. This is true fo the people that we are in relationships with also. If we are authentic – true to our own beliefs – we allow others to be authentic also. Authenticity leads to trust, and trust leads to balance, joy and harmony in relationship.
Each week, we are going to hear from the voice of one of our oracle allies. This week we are talking to the Tarot cards. The voice that wishes to speak is that of Four of Wands. We are being advised that we are coming into a time of harmony and prosperity in our lives. We need to honor this energy, and use it to our best advantage. Do not let the economic fears that prevail to prevent us from accepting the prosperity that we have worked to hard to bring into our lives.
Next week we will be talking about what summer brings to us. Stay tuned!
May your week be filled with joy and peace.
Best Wishes,
Lilith
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